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Today marks our sixth anniversary, and between the two of us we have a lot of experience in marriage despite the low number that represents.\u00a0 The wisest piece of advice that I can offer in looking towards our success and the continuing success down the road in marriage is to know where your story stick is.<\/p>\n
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What is a story stick?\u00a0 Well, in woodworking it\u2019s a way of making a repeatable thing by referencing something known.\u00a0 If you picture cutting a board, if you make a mistake like I did once (or twice) and reference the next board from the one you just cut . . . you\u2019ll progressive error and have boards that are too short.\u00a0 This is because you are not allowing for the saw kerf . . . a fancy word for what is chewed out of the wood.\u00a0 You can also use a story stick to repeat where something goes \u2013 like a shelf or board in a project.\u00a0 It\u2019s a known entity that you can reference back to \u2013 like a cornerstone on a building.\u00a0 You don\u2019t reference the wall from the stones beside it, you reference them back to the beginning stone.\u00a0 Each stone can vary just a bit with the cement, but if your rows aren\u2019t referenced from that beginning stone you get off.<\/p>\n
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So how does this reference back to marriage?\u00a0 Well, my story stick . . . my source of joy or well being . . . being sad, angry, or glad \u2013 all of it has to come from with something other than my spouse.\u00a0 Now don\u2019t get me wrong, my wife Peggy is awesome, but she\u2019s also human.\u00a0 Likewise I\u2019m human and we both miss and mess things up.\u00a0 My story stick has to reference back to something else that will not fail in how it measures up or how it measures me.\u00a0 For me and Peggy, we both let God be that story stick.\u00a0 Our fulfillment doesn\u2019t come through the other \u2013 I am not Peggy\u2019s soul mate, and she is not mine.\u00a0 Our soul mate is our creator and his Son.<\/p>\n
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We don\u2019t compare ourselves to anyone else, or anyone else\u2019s marriage \u2013 because this is ours and we know what it should be based on Biblical truths.\u00a0 Yesterday our reading (and our subsequent video . . . which we are still working on) was the 1 Corinthians 13 verse.\u00a0 It probably decorates a lot of walls and gets spoken at marriages.\u00a0 If you back up to the 12:27 you might see a little more insight into that story stick.<\/p>\n
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\u201cNow you are the body of Christ,\u00a0and each one of you is a part of it.\u201d\u00a0 – 1 Corinthians 12:27 (ESV)<\/p>\n
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If I consider myself a part of that body, and if I know that my wife does the same . . . how can we reject or act in a way that isn\u2019t consistent with that?\u00a0 When we both operate from that perspective we see our failings and shortcomings as well as the things we do right \u2013 from our individual story stick.\u00a0 Time will tell, but if you look back at other successful marriages I think we are on the right track.\u00a0 Not saying that you can\u2019t stay married for a long time to someone \u2013 but wouldn\u2019t you like to enjoy the experience?\u00a0 We do.<\/p>\n
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